Too funny not to post!

I totally needed this email the other day!!

Can Cold Water Clean Dishes?

This is for all the germ conscious folks

that worry about using cold water to clean.

John went to visit his 90 year old grandfather

in a very secluded, rural area of Saskatchewan

After spending a great evening chatting the night away,

the next morning John's grandfather prepared

breakfast of bacon, eggs and toast.

However, John noticed a film like substance on his plate,

and questioned his grandfather asking,

'Are these plates clean?'

His grandfather replied,

'They're as clean as cold water can get em.

Just you go ahead and finish your meal, Sonny!'

For lunch the old man made hamburgers.

Again, John was concerned about the plates,

as his appeared to have tiny specks around

the edge that looked like dried egg and asked,

'Are you sure these plates are clean?'

Without looking up the old man said,

'I told you before, Sonny, those dishes are as

clean as cold water can get them. Now don't you

fret, I don't want to hear another word about it!'

Later that afternoon, John was on his way to a nearby town

and as he was leaving, his grandfather's dog

started to growl, and wouldn't let him pass.

John yelled and said,

'Grandfather, your dog won't let me get to my car'.

Without diverting his attention from the football game

he was watching on TV, the old man shouted!

'Coldwater, go lay down now, yah hear me!'

Meet Coldwater !

Have a fabulous STRESS FREE day!

Life is too short for negative drama & petty things. So laugh insanely, love truly and forgive quickly! From one unstable person to another... I hope everyone is happy in your head - we're all doing pretty good in mine!

Home

Seriously; we have bought our "forever" house. In the military it's the house that hopefully we will live in for a long, long time.  It's a house that I will feel comfortable actually hanging pictures and planting flowers, because I will get to enjoy them for more than 2 years. It's the house that I hope the Js will remember as "the house they grew up in".  It's the house that will be home when we move back home....4 more weeks!

So far...

I have decided to keep track of what exactly I have done this week...so that maybe I can see that something is getting done around here.
Yesterday
   Js breakfast,
   Js to school,
   dunkin donuts/bagel with Alice-we do this every Tuesday a.m. We have one of those friendships that we may not talk all week, but on Tuesdays it is like we saw each other yesterday. She brings her 3 y/o and afternoon K son. We are able to sip coffee and catch up on how being a military wife can well...suck!  But we also talk about the great things our kids are doing. She is one of my few friends that I can actually brag about my kids to, and she is truly excited! Her kids last about 1 hour...thank the good Lord for portable DVD players!! :)  Of note...the ladies @ dunkin donuts, know us by site, they are pouring our coffee as soon as we walk in the door. Yesterday I tripped them up because I ordered a large coffee!
   Work
   Tried to fix my stinkin fax...and failed...
   Stepped over some laundry thinking...dang...Little J owes me 2 quarters for those 2 socks I just picked up
   Arranged how I my girlfriend (3 hrs away) and I are going to get a baby shower planned and delivered to a another friend this Sunday...logistics, food, gifts.
   Called MiLove-to figure out where we can get the broken window fixed, if we should have a cleaning service do a final cleaning once the movers leave...there was more...what was it
   Big J to soccer
   Sweat a lot!!!  90 degrees with at least 200% humidity!  I am not a humidity girl--bring me some dry air and chapstick and I am good to go! My naturally wavy turns into an afro--truly in this humidity! I should post a pic of just my hair sometime!
   Pet the dog
   Realized the dog is out of food and it is time to get the Js from school
   Called A while waiting in the kiss-n-ride. Just when I think about "how busy I am", she tells me she had to put their dog to sleep today.  Heart wrenching....I went home and hugged the Beagle and squeezed her and told her--"sorry, I forgot to get more dogfood, I am a terrible Beagle owner".
   A little more work
   Supper-consisted of pasta, strawberries, bananas and milk....for the love i need to go to the store
   MiLove got home, hugged him, said "hi" while he played with the Js.
   Email
   Js to bed
   watched a little of "wipeout". MiLove laughs his butt off. I think I watch it mostly because I love his laugh.  I am not sure how I feel about watching people get hurt...more about that later.
   "Researched" on the computer about platform beds for Big J, a new work station/table for me, and gazed @ the Ikea website...note to self--must get to Ikea one more time before the move
  Went to bed
  Got out of bed..forgot to email about something.
  Went to bed
  Got out of bed to check on the Js. It's something I have done since they were born. Cover them up, turn on Big Js radio if it isn't on already and watch them for a bit while they sleep.  If for some reason I fall asleep without checking on them, I wake up in a panic and go check on them

I guess that's it...hmm....I need to review this list and eliminate the stuff that didn't really matter.

  

Today

Rewind to Monday.  I have had little J on my lap for the past 2 hours. She had been experience vomitous eruptous for the last 24 hrs. We are cuddling and watching the very 1st episodes of Hannah Montana--you know the cute ones where everything isn't about boys and dating!!

Anyway, my cell rings for work. Then my home phone rings--I don't answer it. On caller ID I see, it is the kindergarten teacher. I thought, "oh that is nice, she is calling to check on Little J".  Then my home phone rings AGAIN!  It is the teacher AGAIN. So, I answer....it is Big J. Big J says..."um, mom it's Monday, we get out early on Mondays"!!! For the past 2 years we have had early release on Monday.I begin picturing  my "mother of the year" award. It is going to be huge this time!!  Shiny, gold, maybe the statue will have a lady holding a phone to her ear.  Fast forward-- I race to find my shoes, grab Little J, upon grabbing Little J says, "I have to go potty". My foot is tap-tap-tapping, my mouth is trying to keep shut, while my mind is thinking---fabulous, she is peeing, she is not dehydrated!!

I get Little J in the car, buckle up and speed thru my 20 MPH neighborhood going....21 MPH...there are a gazillion kids walking home. Including the safety patrol....which reminds me of just how late I am.  I pull into the kiss-n-ride and there are the 2 cutest blondies waiting for me with smiles on their faces. They aren't even the only ones there!  I gave 20 "sorries" and they said "that's ok mom we knew you were home taking care of their Little J."  I love those Js!!

Fast forward to today. The Js are loaded up for the drive to school. Middle J says "Mom did you set the alarm on your phone to pick us up early today. We have the 2-hr release". I kindly respond, "yes I do, thanks for the reminder". We all snicker and I drop them off @ school, all of us with smiles on our faces.

Fast forward....Running out the door to get the Js!  I am looking fwd to a long weekend!

Skin

I am not sure where my "skin" post went...it was before my checklist.  This time of year the sun gets brighter, the weather warmer and I am outside A LOT!  Not only am I self conscious about my ass, my arms, my lovehandles and my legs (I DO NOT WEAR SHORTS), I also worry about this ginourmous patch on my face. I think it looks like a Groucho Marx mustache. Milove says he can't "see anything"..(that is what he is supposed to say). The Js say "we see something, but there isn't hair".  The mask of pregnancy lingers long after pregnancy.  I have melasma on my face...it almost disappears in the winter. The first time I go outside in the spring BAM (just like Emeril) it is there staring back @ me. I use creams, cleansers, lotions etc...they might work a bit....I know there are much bigger worries out there...but for during the few seconds I look in the mirror today applying make-up...this is my worry.  Elle, can you teach me how to use Bare Minerals...you have fab skin?  Homestead (if you are reading), have you tried it yet?

Checklist

1. Freak out -we are are driving out of VA in 35 days!!!!
2. Freak out while continuing this checklist
3. Send email to Elle that I am freaking out-(she doesn't judge and always replies!)
4. Wonder how many time "freak out" will be typed in this checklist.
5. Clean out the garage-done
6. Have BigJ go thru his toys that he no longer plays with (boo hoo) and get them in the garage on the garage sale table.
7. Ponder, do I really have enough for a garage sale...YES...and I told the Js we could use the $$ for our roadtrip trinkets :)
8. Make reservations @ the 4 stops we will make on the way to ND. Make sure they are close to the interstate, take dogs and have @ least a 3.5 star rating!-- DONE!!
9. Make reservations here for the last 3 days we will be w/o beds etc. 
10. Make reservations for one week in COS while we wait for the house
11. Freak out....we are buying a house!
12. Stop...I have to go shower to go to Milove's "going away" lunch, except he isn't going away for 3 more weeks....
13.to be continued.

grrr...

I hate snow.....that's all I've got today.

One Flaw in Women

This was passed to me by one of my favorite friends I have met here in VA. Thanks SH!

One Flaw In Women

Women have strengths that amaze men......

They bear hardships and they carry burdens,

but they hold happiness, love and joy.

They smile when they want to scream.

They sing when they want to cry.

They cry when they are happy

and laugh when they are nervous.

They fight for what they believe in..

They stand up to injustice.

They don't take "no" for an answer

when they believe there is a better solution.

They go without so their family can have.

They go to the doctor with a frightened friend.

They love unconditionally.

They cry when their children excel

and cheer when their friends get awards.

They are happy when they hear about

a birth or a wedding.

Their hearts break when a friend dies.

They grieve at the loss of a family member,

yet they are strong when they

think there is no strength left.

They know that a hug and a kiss

can heal a broken heart.

Women come in all shapes, sizes and colors.

They'll drive, fly, walk, run or e-mail you

to show how much they care about you..

The heart of a woman is what

makes the world keep turning.

They bring joy, hope and love.

They have compassion and ideas.

They give moral support to their

family and friends.

Women have vital things to say

and everything to give.

HOWEVER, IF THERE IS

ONE FLAW IN WOMEN,

IT IS THAT THEY FORGET THEIR WORTH.

Be careful what you wish for!

Ugh, I just read my previous blog posting. Well, it is definitely snowing. We have approx 15 inches on the ground now and we can barely see the neighbor’s house because it is still snowing. Thankfully we are taking the train tomorrow to NYC. I guess it takes a lot for the trains to stop. The airports are a mess and most of the flights are cancelled--YIKES!


The Js are having a blast, I keep shoveling and we moved the car so that it faces the street! The Coloradoans are ready....say a prayer for us! The only thing that worries me is the show @ 6:30 tomorrow night in NYC....I will keep you posted :)

rain, rain go away!

Seriously...I know I have bitched & moaned about this...but does it have to rain so much??? I bought some cute rain boots last week and thought they would bring some fun to the rain...they are super cute and help a little...but Geez the rain it puts me in a funk. My body is craving sunshine! Lucy and I napped today, it was nice...but I am still groggy. I did get some laundry done and the rest of the Christmas decorating done. I ordered my photo cards for Christmas. I was a complete slacker on that this year. My goal every year is to mail them on Dec 1st. I am just hoping they print ok. It is so hard to tell if the picture looks good until it is in hand.

Good news!!! It is supposed to snow on Saturday. The 3Js are praying for it...please oh please: Let it Snow, Let it Snow, Let it Snow!

breathe in ...breathe out...

Ok, how serious is a "naughty or nice" list???
Horrible day with the Middle J: woke up c/o nothing to wear, that doesn't match, the socks don't really fit right, this part of my shoe (that she has worn for 3 months) has felt weird since I got them. (yes we forgot to pick out our clothes last night!) and on and on. She didn't know what to eat for breakfast, her hair was too ratty and she refused to wear her raincoat or a coat. I rarely force the issue of a coat, if they want to freeze..well then...But I could not take anymore whining out of her today. Well, after school she got out of the car and said "I need a new umbrella for Christmas" this from the kid that received her first ever umbrella last year. "I don't really like the flowers on it anymore." She also said that MY new very stylish rain boots "look huge and I don't really like the color." After that I set the timer for 10 minutes and told her neither one of us would speak to each other for 10 minutes. It worked!! She was a brand new kid; not speaking is the worst for her, that is the punishment that worked as a toddler. "Go sit on your bed and no talking", that was the end of the world for her :)

breathe in, breathe out....tomorrow is a new day and we are going upstairs to pick out the perfect outfit for tomorrow!

Check

Making the list and checking it for the first time.

PJs-bought
Slippers-bought (a must for this freezing house with wood floors)
BigJ ornament bought
BigJ b-day present-bought
3Js Amazon wish list sent to GGJ
MIlove-small gift bought--no other presents except NYC!!
3Js presents bought by me for GA
4Ks presents bought
Multiple other presents bought-just need to figure out what goes to whom
GGJ-combo gift bought--know what other to buy
MiddleJ-some b-day presents bought

The packages are stacking in my closet and I am looking for more hiding spaces!

Anxiously awaiting my new pretty rain boots!! UPS says they will be here today...not a moment too soon. Hopefully they will pull me out of my "rain funk" @ least for a little bit :)

P.S.

I forgot to mention; we are taking the trip now..because it is looking extremely likely we will be moving this coming summer. I am dreaming of mountains, hopefully MILove's job is too!

NYC!

Holi canoli! We have broken down and are taking the plunge to go to NYC. The breaking down is the head shaking of how much money it is going to cost for our family to all go! We are taking the train! About 2.5 hrs long-we are thrilled to see the sites as we travel and not have to worry about traffic. We found a fairly inexpensive hotel, far enough from Time Square that it isn't too loud but close enough for us to walk. We are taking a serious plunge and have bought Lion King tickets!! Yowza....$$$$!!! But this is one of those family trips that I hope we all will cherish.
3 full days and 2 nights. We will go to Lion King, would like to go to the Empire State Bldg, more than likely the Statue of Liberty--(I am seriously worried about frost bite on the ferry), going to Rockefeller Ctr to see the skating and "the tree". Going to American Girl store, see some other stores and just take in the city! I have been there 2x and can walk for miles...the 3Js will be another story.

Does anyone have any suggestions for things to do on an extremely limited budget? I knew I was saving the travel section of Family Fun for several years for a reason!! Thank the Good Lord that we are able to afford this trip in this time of recession. We are truly blessed.

Yucky sickness & he still makes me laugh!

I hate being sick! I hate being isolated to my room to be sick listening to the Js have a blast with MILove. But guess what, the Beagle was with me wherever I went-mostly to swipe a piece of candy, squirt something with Lysol or just lay on my bed! I've got to brag a little about MILove, he can still make me laugh even when I am trying to hack up my lungs! He called me from the pharmacy to ask if it was called a representative spirometer....no honey it's an IS, "oh good, this lady tried to sell me rectal thermometer!!"

WHY??

Why does an old lady feel the need to hide in her bushes on Halloween and cackle like a scarey witch @ the little kids that come to her door? seriously....I am looking for the bark collar!

I love Lucy

I love my dog. Truly...she follows me wherever I go. She whines to take the Js to school and pick them up. She knows what time it is to leave to pick up the Js. She whines when the Js get out of the car and walk into the school. She has laid on the bed with me all week while I have been sick. When I try to hack my lung up...she puts her head on my belly.

Beagles...yes they bark--we own a bark collar; show her the bark collar and she stops barking. Yes, they like to chase anything. You know the movie "Up", where the dog gets distracted everytime he sees a squirrel..that is my Beagle!! So, she is not allowed outside w/o a collar or on her tie-out: problem solved! She also can sniff out any sort of food..ANYTHING! I came home to find she had sniffed thru my purse and found a piece of gum!

I got "The Beagle" about 4 months after my Dad died. It made me feel closer to him, because we had beagles growing up. He loved them, my mom, not so much (because of the traits above). I think of my Dad a lot when the Beagle is everywhere I am. When I am working, she lays on my lap with her chin on the armrest and will lay there for 20 min. When it gets uncomfortable (or I get uncomfortable), she lays on the floor in my office. For Christmas, I am getting her a dog bed just for my office.

She is a kennel dog. She was since we brought her home. We bought a kennel that would fit her until she was full grown. I will find the first picture we took of her in the kennel. When we leave the house, we just say "kennel" and she runs upstairs and lays down in her kennel. She also has a time-out place..I know just like a kid. But it works. The downstairs bathroom. She hates it, because she is separated from us; she doesn't stay in there long.

We do not give her ANY table scraps or anything other than her dogfood and dog treats. If she eats anything else (including gum) she vomits! At dinner we have her lay on the rug in the living room and she stays there until we leave the table; I cannot stand it when dogs breathe on your leg when you are eating..yuck! As soon as we are not looking she attempts to get on the table!!! Yes, I get pissed; yes, I want to kick her butt...but I love Lucy!

it has been too long

Ok, this blogging thing...I just read Elle's latest post. Totally agree with the reasons to blog. I need to get stuff out of my head and into the computer. Maybe it will help me sleep better @ night. I could even make silly notes in my blog...

Big J
I admit it, I was the mom who bought the kids' costumes a month or two in advance. With BigJ, always a superhero of some sort. He was Harry Potter for 2 years. But now, he is @ that limbo age, does he dress up? Well he has to if he wants to go trick o' treating. But what is he going to be??? Last year a skateboarder. I loved creating the mohawk and spraying it blue and green. But it made me a little sad wondering, would this be the last year; would next year be the year he would be handing out the candy while Middle J and Little J were out? Wow, much to my relief he is going to be a secret agent. Love it!!! He has everything to create it! Phew...at least one more year of pictures for the scrapbook. (scrapbook...HA!!)

We only had one vacation-she says

Last night during supper, Middle J says, "We only had 1 vacation this summer." Remember this is my party planner/agenda setting queen. I reminded her it was summer vacation and going to VA beach was only part of the vacation. I reminded her we have:
1. Gone to a Nats baseball game
2. Yes-we went to VA beach for 3 days
3. Visited one of the oldest lighthouses in the U.S. (and climbed a gazillion stairs)
3. Went to the Air/Space Museum-saw a space shuttle and @ least 100 actual airplanes/jets in the museum.
4. Joined the Nat'l zoo and have gone once so far
5. Toured the Pentagon with her daddy
6. Have gone mini-golfing 2x
7. Have gone bowling 2x (one time it was glow in the dark!)
8. Went swimming an average of 3-4x/week.
9. Went to dunkin donuts nearly every Tuesday with our friends
10.Went to the Smithsonium Museum of Art and portraits
11.Toured the national mall and visited all of the monuments (we have done this several times already)
12.Went to National Harbor-looked at the amazing boats and the water.
13.Had countless playdates, pooldates, lunchdates with friends.
14.Had mommy and me and daddy and me special dates.
15.Grandpa and Grandma came to visit for a week.

I don't want to count some of these as vacation. The special dates are priceless and the Js absolutely love them. Playdates..well we have them all the time; but they can be exhausting unless I can "farm" out the big kids :) All of it was so fun! We had a memorable summer, now on to the crazy school year.

Soccer practice starts tomorrow. I am still trying to figure out carpools, because there is no way I can get everyone to practice and games. Sam should be able to help a lot, but you know how that can go! School lists come out tomorrow, open house is Wednesday, and school starts Tuesday. I wonder what Middle J will try to put on the agenda for this long weekend?? :)

16.I know there are some other things, but I just got a call for playdate for little J and now I am planning the rest of the day.......sigh :) First stop-dunkin donuts-sugar for the Js, me-"coffe now please!".

"WOMAN

I was fwd'd this by my dear friend SC in Fort Collins! It made my morning!

Subject: Woman
"Whatever you give a woman, she will make greater. If you give her sperm, she'll give you a baby.
If you give her a house, she'll give you a home. If you give her groceries, she'll give you a meal.
If you give her a smile, she'll give you her heart. She multiplies and enlarges what is given to her.
So, if you give her any crap, be ready to receive a ton of shit."